Yet another year has come and gone. Days have passed in a haze of coffee and wine and warm breath on cold winds; I have read through a century and slept just as long. There wasn’t nearly enough art, music, or travels, and probably a bit too much wine, but the last twelve months have been kind to me. Granted, most of them were spent within these four walls, but kind nonetheless despite the Outside.
January was spent in Costa Rica. February through June were spent in a haze. July and August were spent in the water. September to November were spent at a new job. December was spent brooding and drinking.
The compartmentalization of the last six months is too tidy – too easy.
That’s why I’m not going to count 2016.
I’ve started to notice I thrive on change and disruption, on an unhealthy balance of chaos and hibernation. When I was laid off in December of 2015 and did nothing for 9 months, it was wonderful. And useless. Months could pass and, not only would I not notice, but I also wouldn’t care. Being completely content with an empty void of disappearing into other realities through books, games, and movies, is both a blessing and a curse. Sure I’ve read 94 books so far this year and spent countless hours on Sims 4 and Black Desert Online (thank fuck I wasn’t on WoW again), but it’s left my recollection of the last year muddled and empty. “What have I done?” I ask myself.
It’s a very short list.
So instead of continuing down the path of melodramatic sulking that is sure to ensue, I’m going to do what I should have done for 2016 (and probably 2015): set some goals and recollect on what I did do right this year.
A list of what I did right during the Year-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named
- Costa Rica. Beautiful weather, adorable creatures usually only seen on TV, soft beaches, and amazing people. And the rainforest – oh boy, do I ever have a new appreciation for Tarzan (those thighs!!)
- I read. A lot. Even though I may have sounded critical about this a few lines ago, I’m really glad I did this.
- New job. Huge responsibility boost, lots of new opportunities, and very adult decisions. Where in 2015 it was, “Okay – you okay with doing this? Yes? Great! Go.” to, “We have this new project we would like you to spear head. Your choice. Please get back to us.” When did I become adult? How do you adult? I was freaking out just walking into headquarters (aka. the gothic red and black tower of intimidation that sucked the confidence out of me).
- Family time. When your friend list is happily at one, family time counts for a lot.
A list of what needs to be manifested for
- Read. A lot. But not all at once – I want to read consistently and always instead of everything-at-once. Bring back the girl with her nose in a book!
- Travel. New York is booked for May, but I also really want to visit Japan. As in so bad my heart aches.
- Learn Japanese. And German (again). Maybe even Russian. Or Swedish. Okay fine – learn another language.
- Meditate and improve overall mental well-being. The New Age idealisms have always interested me, and who doesn’t want to have a bit of magic in their lives?
- Dress better. Everywhere you see says, “When you look good, you feel good.” It’s probably time to upgrade my wardrobe from pajamas and sweats to.. not pajamas and sweats..
- Lose weight. Of course.
- Write more. Blog, journal, poetry, random rants on reddit – there’s no better time to start than now.
- Art more. I say this every year and I never do it, but this year I’m going to encompass ARTart (with pencils and smudging and dirty fingers) as well as piano. Two birds with one stone.
- Make friends. Preferably real-life friends (requested), but also accept online friends. Give me another reason to play WoW (please?).
With only a few days left until New Years Eve, I’m heading into the New Year with a pretty good feeling. The resolution list may be long, but even if I only scratch off two things on this list then that was already better than my list from last year. I’m excited and energized and looking forward to all the new changes I can see so far. A lot of nervous jitters and urges to hide under my blankets for the rest of eternity, but nothing that can’t be overcome with obscene amounts of coffee.